The Things Kasambahays Wish They Could Tell Their Employers — But Never Will
A Human+ Feature by MaidProvider.ph
In Filipino homes, there are conversations that never happen not because they don’t matter — but because the consequences of saying them aloud feel too heavy for the person who would have to speak.
Kasambahays learn early that silence is safer than honesty.
So they swallow their discomfort, hide their needs, and carry the emotional burden of being “okay” even when they’re not.
Across thousands of placements in Metro Manila, the Human+ team hears the same confessions whispered — but rarely spoken in front of employers.
These are the things they wish they could say.
1. “Pagod na po ako — but I’m afraid you’ll think I’m ungrateful.”
Many helpers work from dawn until everyone else sleeps.
They want to express that their body aches.
They want to say the schedule is stretching them thin.
They want to ask for a break without risking their job.
But exhaustion, for them, often feels like a forbidden topic.
So they choose silence.
2. “Masakit po na mas mataas ang tiwala n’yo sa CCTV kaysa sa akin.”
Workers understand security.
They know families want safety.
But what they don’t say is how it feels to be watched:
• folding clothes
• eating a quick meal
• resting for five minutes
• walking down the hallway
For many, it feels less like protection…
and more like suspicion.
3. “I treat your children like my own — but I miss my children too.”
This is the heartbreak they never reveal.
They nurture your child, carry them during tantrums, memorize their routines, worry when they cough.
But somewhere far away, their own child wonders where their mother is.
Kasambahays carry two families — one they serve, and one they hope does not forget them.
4. “I say ‘okay lang po’ because I don’t want to be a problem.”
“Okay lang po” is cultural armor.
It hides:
• discomfort
• hunger
• sadness
• fear
• confusion
• overwhelm
It is the safest answer — the one least likely to offend.
Human+ sees this phrase for what it truly is: a survival strategy.
5. “The tone you use matters more than the words.”
Helpers rarely react to instructions.
Instructions are normal.
But tone?
Tone carries hierarchy.
Tone carries respect.
Tone carries whether they are seen as human or as labor.
A simple sentence — “Pakikuha ito, please” — can land in many ways depending on the voice behind it.
6. “Rest is not a reward. It’s part of the job.”
Many workers hesitate to rest even during their supposed breaks.
They fear:
• being labeled lazy
• being compared to a previous helper
• being judged by relatives or visitors
• losing trust
• losing employment
Rest, for them, is permission-based — not natural.
7. “I’m not asking for luxury — just a space where I can breathe.”
A dignified sleeping area doesn’t require square meters.
But it does require intention.
Workers will never ask for:
• a better mattress
• a door that locks
• a room with ventilation
• a clean space free from clutter
• a place for their belongings
But these small things shape how safe they feel.
8. “Sometimes I cry quietly at night — not because of the work, but because I feel alone.”
The emotional isolation of live-in domestic work is real.
Helpers often live:
in the same home,
under the same roof,
sometimes for years…
…yet feel deeply alone.
They hide their sadness because they believe being emotional makes them look weak — or replaceable.
9. “I stay longer with families who treat me like a person, not a position.”
Workers don’t stay because:
• the pay is highest
• the tasks are easiest
• the house is biggest
They stay because of:
• tone
• kindness
• fairness
• predictability
• respect
• humanity
Those are the invisible currencies of loyalty.
What This Means for Filipino Homes
Kasambahays rarely voice these truths, not because they lack courage — but because they know that speaking honestly can risk their livelihood.
Yet acknowledging these unspoken realities is essential for building healthy, long-term household relationships.
Human+ believes this:
Care is a system.
Dignity is a structure.
Respect is a daily practice.
When households understand the inner lives of workers, the work becomes more sustainable — and the relationship becomes more human.
And if no one else is willing to start this conversation, Human+ will.
Human+. Built for dignity, care, and community.
MaidProvider.ph — The Philippine Maid Brand.